Post by Cassiel on Mar 13, 2016 20:24:57 GMT
SAM--
It had taken Sam a little time to wrap his head around the fact that Dean had walked out on him and the whole mess. After looking up some things about wiped memories and if it was even possible to get anything back, he couldn’t really find anything. So now it was time to do something about it, instead of just reading.
Sam leaned back in his chair and uttered a low curse. It was damned if he did, damned if he didn’t. Dean was furious with him, but he couldn’t just let Ben walk around with a big hole in his head. It wasn’t right.
He grabbed his phone off the table and found Cas’ number, thumbing it and waiting for it to ring. He’d have to call Cas first, then Ben, and…
Make something happen. He hoped.
CASTIEL--
Castiel was just walking out of Kelley's, bag in hand to take home, when his phone started ringing. He stepped around the corner, fishing it out of his pocket with the slightest hint of a fond smile playing on his lips. He'd assumed it would be Meg looking for him. He had been gone just about a full day at this point, and he could hardly fault her. His expression grew serious, however, when he saw the name on the screen.
Sam.
Swiping his thumb across the screen to connect the call, he answered in a tone as serious as his expression. “Sam. Is something wrong?” He listened, brows knitting. “I...” He hesitated, torn. “Yes, I can meet you at the academy.”
Another pause as he listened. “No, it's alright. I can be there...well, almost immediately.” Another pause, accompanied by a faint smile of amusement. “Like you, I'll explain when I see you. Apparently we both have things to talk about.”
He glanced down to the bag still clutched in his hand. With a resigned sigh, he said, “and I can even bring something to eat while we talk. I'll see you there, Sam.” Not giving the hunter a chance to say anything else, he thumbed the screen to disconnect the call. “Sorry, Meg,” he murmured to the empty air and vanished.
BEN--
He was finally resting. He'd barely slept a wink since he was dropped off, and since then, he had exercised almost religiously. It was a common source of purpose for him; he was driven, he was devoted, and he knew a moment's weakness could be death, so he had learned to be routine and focused and unrelenting in his physical acumen. It was also a way to purge demons, and with all the thoughts in his head, he had worked himself out viciously through the day, with a brief interruption by a falling angel-spawn (sort of).
The rest of his time had been trying to deduce puzzles from things Sam said, putting together details, expanding his hunter's journal.
And then finally sleep took him. With his journal lain across his chest, he was passed out in the chair at the desk in his cabin, head nestled against his own shoulder as he drifted unconscious, but clearly not where he really ought to be if he's intending a good night's sleep.
The research-until-oblivion was, however, likely not a new look for someone so connected to the name Winchester.
SAM--
Sam knew Cas would already be there way before him, so that part wasn’t the trouble. The next part might be a bit more problematic because he had to call Ben. Sam knew he should have called earlier in the day, but things had to be sorted through. He’d have to explain that to Ben too. Sam just shook his head as he got out of his chair, feeling his pockets for the keys to his car. He couldn’t find them just yet, so he found Ben’s number on the phone while looking around on the tables.
Oh yeah, okay, he remembered where he had put them. He wandered towards the keys while calling Ben, already grabbing his keys and making way to the stairs.
CASTIEL--
It seemed like forever since he'd been back to the academy. Just a few weeks, but...it seemed much longer. So much had happened, and much of it still had him at a loss. Now, that was all compounded by having to see Sam, and deal with whatever new problem had cropped up. And, of course, try to decide just how much of what had been going on to tell the hunter. He had a message to pass along, after all, in amongst everything else. Maybe, though, it could wait a bit longer.
Sam would have to make the trip out from the bunker, so Cas knew he had some time. Not enough to pop home and make his explanations to Meg, but...maybe enough to wander the grounds a bit. He missed this place, and missed his sojourns into the woods surrounding the cabin. He missed the quiet, and the peace.
And, he missed Claire. But...as much as he wanted to, he wasn't going to disturb her. Not yet, anyway. Not until he found out what was going on...and until he could decide how to tell her what needed to be said, as well.
It seemed like his life had become nothing but a morass of secrets.
BEN--
The phone shocked him out of his slumber, and he dropped his book and found himself falling out of the chair he was in, catching himself with enough agility to find himself on both of his feet, breathing heavily and uncertain for a moment. Fumbling, he grabbed the phone he had dropped onto the floor and picked it up; he sounded very much like he had just been shocked awake from his sleep, which was entirely accurate.
"Sam, Sam, hey, I'm up. Hey. What's-- yaaaawwwwwwnnn--- what's up?" he asked, grumbling to himself after that weakness of his yawn, showcasing the lack of consciousness he had just been roused from. It was a little embarrassing, but he blew past it.
"Is it Dean?" he asked, surprisingly hopeful for a moment, before it clicked to him what else it could be, and he asked with a fearful and hopeful curiosity.
"...Castiel?" he amended, nerves clear in his voice, although apprehensive or overjoyed were hard to determine perfectly.
SAM--
Sam chuckled as he paused on the stairs, “did I wake you?” He gave a look of amusement to the air in front of him before continuing up the stairs again, “no, well, yes. It’s complicated,” Sam hesitated for a moment while opening the door, muttering at things. “Look, I’ll have to explain stuff to you when I’m at the Academy.
“I’ll be there in… “ He glanced at his watch, “twenty minutes.” He closed the door behind him and started toward the car, “oh hey, you might see this awkward looking guy in a trench coat.” He grinned, “he’s one of the good guys. Don’t bumrush him until I introduce you to him.
“Please.” Without even saying bye, he hung up and got into the car to head over to the academy.
BEN--
"Castiel," he said, making it clear he knew just who Sam meant. Why else would Sam have him meet some guy in a trenchcoat? He said he'd get their guy who got his memories taken away; and he made it clear enough that was Castiel; and he had described the guy in passing. It lined up well with awkward looking guy in a trench coat. Informative, condemning, illustrative, and it also confirmed a lot without saying anything. But that word was half-started at best before it clicked; he doubted Sam heard anything but 'Cah' at best before the sudden click.
Stretching, he set down his book, and rolled his neck, working out the kinks. Sam had woken him, not that Sam seemed to care enough past his initial laughing inquiry, given his race to move on. Ben was left to try to figure out what to do, and where to assemble; but truth be told, he had no idea where most of anything was here, really, except his own location, but that seemed all he likely needed. After-all, they were coming for his brain and the secrets locked inside. He could've stayed in bedchair for all it mattered.
He opened the front door, and moved to sit on his own front stoop, eyeing out into the dark, waiting for this awkward trench coated dude who held all the secrets.
A concept that Ben had no idea was as true as it was.
SAM--
While driving, Sam hoped that Ben wouldn’t stab the poor guy first before asking questions – he seemed to be that type. He fidgeted with the steering wheel while he tried to think of what to say and how to approach this whole subject without making Castiel think he fucked things up – or putting Ben on the defensive. Hell, he also had to explain to both of them that Dean was downright pissed.
Why couldn’t things be simple and everyone welcome the long lost son?
He ran his hand over his face while making a turn, he was about ten minutes out.
CASTIEL--
His wandering took him around the side of the main cabin, where he hesitated for a moment before continuing on. Now wasn't the time to go in and see Donna and Jody, more people he had to make explanations to. There was just...too much of that. It was overwhelming, with everything that was going on. Instead, he slipped around to the back, fully intending on going on past the smaller cabins back there and to the edge of the woods where he could soak in some peace while still being in range of hearing any vehicles coming.
He stopped, however, when he spotted what he took to be a student sitting out on the little stoop, looking out into the dark. Looking...well, a little lost, if anyone had asked Cas. He stood watching the young man for a moment, then, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his coat approached.
Only to come to a stop, eyes going wide, as he recognized the young man he'd last seen as a boy in a hospital. What was Dean's son doing here, of all places? There was no doubt this must be the situation Sam called him about. This couldn't be a coincidence. Cas closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again and approached.
As he stepped into what little light came from the cabin, he stopped again. “Hello, Ben.” The words were soft despite his rough voice, and he let silence fall after he spoke them, merely studying the young man.
BEN--
He was just waiting, knowing they'd make their way there, when he spotted the angel. And the angel spotted him well before it, he was very sure, but all the same, he knew just who this guy was from several corroborating sources.
"Castiel," he offered pleasantly, with a nod of his head. He smiled a little, as he considered the guy, weighing his head side to side a little as he really took a good, hard look at the angel. Well, she maybe got the slight rounding of her features from him, maybe the eyes, that's about it, best he could tell. Must've had a pretty mom, because dad wasn't anything special.
But there was more to his inspection than trying to match features; he also was looking for recognition. There was nothing there. All he knew was there was some sort of instinctual hesitation; like how one instinctively knows to flinch from fire. But he didn't give in, just shrugging it off and letting the guy approach.
"Don't worry, I don't remember meeting you. It's all intact. I'm just attentive." More, he did more than know this guy from stories from Sam; he had multiple pictures, and he had a video from a campaign headquarters he saw while scanning for similar videos to give more projects to hunt. But that memory was distant, scratching at him; he looked like something and Ben couldn't quite put his finger on that connection.
Except the suit, the wings, all of it, it made sense. His eyes narrowed a moment. "Don't you usually wear a tie?" he asked, recalling the pictures he'd found while hunting Dean and Sam, the ones with this Angel in them.
SAM--
Sam hit the long driveway leading to the Academy, fiddling with the steering wheel while he did so. He thought about calling one of them, but figured it was overkill – they must have already ran into each other by now. He wasn’t that stupid, but he had kinda hoped that Castiel got sidetracked by Donna – it would make things a little bit easier.
A little more ways, then he arrived in front of the main cabin. No sign of Cas’ car, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t there.
“Lovely,” he sighed as he stepped out, remembering to take the keys with him this time. Jody had warned him about some of the kids taking joy rides. Pocketing the keys, he managed to bypass the main cabin, making a mental note to drop in and say hi to Donna before he left, and he walked the path towards the cabins in the back.
CASTIEL--
Cas merely hummed an acknowledgment, stepping closer once he was sure Ben had ample opportunity to study him in return. He had no doubts that the block still held. The chances of the boy being sane with it having failed were incredibly slim. Yet, it didn't entirely surprise him that Ben had found his way to the very same vicinity where he was, and, more importantly, where Dean and Sam were. Ben had a lot of his father in him, including a soul-deep stubbornness that had made fixing the block in his mind incredibly difficult while still allowing the boy to remain, essentially, himself.
There was a flash of a smile, gone almost as quickly as it had appeared. “Often, yes. It's been...a busy day.” His words were followed by a low chuckle, finding himself amused at his own understatement. He could hear a car in the distance, and briefly wondered where Dean was, since that was most certainly not the Impala. Well, he supposed he'd learn the rest of what was going on soon enough.
Cas had something he wanted to say before Sam interrupted. “I'm going to take a guess. You learned something you shouldn't have, and decided you needed to hunt down your... Ah, Dean and Sam.” His head canted to the side, studying the effect his words had on Ben, more curious about that than any answer he actually got.
His examination of Ben was brought to a halt when he heard footsteps coming from around the cabin. “Hello, Sam,” he said, not bothering to turn away from Ben. He was, he found, deeply curious about Ben. He could see so many little things about the young man that were achingly familiar. It made him wonder how Dean had never seen them.
BEN--
"Other way around, Castiel. When you wiped my mom and I, you didn't wipe the scene where my mom's boyfriend was murdered, or the evidence of her fingerprints, or pictures like these," he explained as he pulled free a photo and tossed it his way, should he mean to catch it. It had a nice, clear picture of Dean giving the kid Ben a noogie, and Ben trying very hard to look like he wasn't happier than he'd ever looked in his life, and failing.
"So my mom went to prison for murdering her boyfriend, which neither of us remember-- maybe she did and you took that away? We had an alibi that didn't check out - because our car we got into an accident with was still parked in the driveway at home. So, once I could, I followed the breadcrumbs to find out who set my mom up for murder."
He gestured, slowly. "I was pretty shocked by what I found. Good to know, angel does not equal omniscient."
Smiling ruefully, trying not to be too harsh, but failing, he glanced to Sam and nodded his head. "Sam," he grunted, his eyes returning quickly to the Angel who was the reason he was sitting her, clueless, afraid, confused and lost.
The Angel who was likely the reason - or the cause, rather - of all his suffering. Dean might've ordered it, but Castiel was the weapon. Very murky waters. He tried his best not to judge anyone, but, he still did it all the time, and he found himself certainly doing it now. He tried not to, but it basically never happened.
He was a hunter, after-all; judgments were meted.
SAM--
Sam stopped in his steps as he realized that they had met, but hey, the good thing was that Castiel was still alive. “Cas,” he attempted a cheerful smile as he rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly while studying them. “Okay, so you’ve both met,” his hand slipped from back of his neck into a clap. “So, Ben – This is Castiel, Castiel, this is Ben.”
Sam shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He tried to think of where to start, Dean was usually the better one at pointing out what happened, what should happen, and what people were going to do about it.
“Okay, so,” he exhaled, “Ben found me, I told him stuff, “ a pause, he rushed, “no bad stuff. All good. Well. Mostly good.” He seesawed on his feet again, nervous, “but anyway. Ben and I got to talking, he wants to remember things.
“Riiight?” He looked over at Ben with an expression of uncertainty.
CASTIEL--
Castiel caught the photograph easily enough, glancing down at it as he listened to the pain in Ben's words as well as the words themselves,, only to find himself caught by the simple scene in the picture. Ben's pain was swiftly echoed in clear blue eyes, always more expressive than the rest of his expression, and lately even more so than he really wanted them to be. It was a period filled with regrets sorrow, and what he'd done to Ben and his mother – even if at Dean's request – was very much a part of that. One among many things he'd never quite be able to atone for.
Yet, maybe here, he would have a chance to start doing that.
“No. Unfortunately angels are fallible. I, perhaps, am more so than most.” He pulled his eyes up from the photograph, then stepped forward to silently offer it back to Ben.
Instead of offering any excuses for his actions, he listened to Sam make his explanation instead. He should have seen it coming, of course. Ben wanted his memories back. And...the only one they knew that could do that was, of course, him.
“Alright,” he responded simply, and almost immediately. It wouldn't be easy, nor was it likely to be comfortable for Ben. But, he had the right to make that choice. It was a decision Castiel wouldn't hesitate to have allowed him, no matter the circumstances. And...at least now, finally, some of the recent events were working in his favour. The process would be far simpler now than it would have been even just two weeks ago.
BEN--
Ben took the photograph, while hearing Castiel's words and Sam's own conciliatory ones. "I'm just answering his questions," Ben offered, tersely, his lips tight as he did his best to swallow his frustrations and his blame. "He asked how I got here-- I clarified his guess," he contested, defensively.
Ultimately, though, he shrugged and sighed. "It's whatever. I really just want him to know that this isn't just for me; my mom needs to ... she needs to remember, too." He sounded apologetic, there, somehow coming to terms with Sammy's unsubtle suggestion to pull in his claws. It was as close as the angel would get for apology for Ben's terse response, most likely.
"I mean... what Sam said," Ben stated, pointedly, towards the Angel. "I'm here for my memories. And for my mom's. And then the help to get her out of prison. That's it. All I need is... to know, and then I can get out of everyone's hair," he grumbled, self-sacrificing and hungry to move on from the touchy topic if it meant finally getting what he wanted. Freedom - knowledge - understanding.
Things worth his labor. "Thanks, Castiel. For uhm. Helping," Ben spoke, carefully, forcing the sincerity in his voice he wanted to be there, even if it wasn't truly. The man was partly to blame, no matter how he tried to pretend otherwise, and it was difficult not to scream and rant, but... he followed orders, perhaps. Just like Sam had for not looking in on him.
None of them had looked again, to make sure. That was the part that upset the most.
And he forced it down again, focusing on his gratitude; focusing on the memories he might finally reclaim.
SAM--
Sam had opened his mouth, ready to come up with explanations of why this would work and why it was a good idea when Castiel had agreed without any more argument. His mouth closed, “oh.” He had really worked himself up for… nothing. He tucked his hands into his pockets, “now, the next part?
“Dean knows you’re here,” he looked over at Ben, frowning a bit, then he looked to Castiel. “Let’s say he’s not happy right now.
“He’s not going to be any happier after all this happens,” Sam rolled his shoulders, “but it’s the right thing. We need to help your mom and you.”
CASTIEL--
His lips quirked, another there-then-gone flash of a smile. “I'll do what I can to help you, Ben. And your mother. You deserve it. You don't owe me any thanks for merely agreeing to give you back what was taken from you. Reluctantly, on my part. But I did it nonetheless. I accept responsibility for that.”
He couldn't quite bring himself to apologize to the boy, no matter how much blame he accepted, no matter how much guilt he harboured. It was, he felt, Dean's place to apologize to his son for the choice the hunter made for him, and for them all. Still..
“For what it may be worth, however, I am sorry your mother is incarcerated. I didn't fully understand what would happen.” His eyes slid over to Sam, and there was another of those flashes of a smile. “My experiences were with those who understood how to avoid issues with the police in ways I never did.”
Cas' eyes narrowed, regarding Sam. It seemed, perhaps, Castiel himself wasn't the only one back to keeping secrets. Well, it only increased the need to talk to Sam as soon as possible. But, he wasn't going to involve Ben in the rest of it. Later, he decided, letting his look to Sam grow pointed before he turned his attention back to Ben.
Cas stepped closer to Ben, looking down at him“I need to know you are absolutely certain you want this, Ben Braeden. It will be disorienting, and, likely, uncomfortable for you.” Blue eyes were staring down at the young man, serious and intent. “We can wait if you'd rather. Or, this can be done right now.”
BEN--
"Honestly, all I know about him is he's a dick who left me and my mom to rot, when he was supposed to be... my dad or something. I don't give a single crap what he wants. I need to know. I deserve to know. So screw that guy."
An easy statement for him to make before the memories of the prior life came back; for now, Dean was a phantom in a photograph, which he looked at now, considering it. He was academically aware that it looked as if he was having fun in photos with him, that he loved the guy maybe even, but it was academic. In his heart, there wasn't anything-- no memories of what it meant, not until he formed those experiences while hunting these beasts, realizing slowly more and more, painting a picture as he met former survivors from their attacks that had met the Winchesters... and videos of their horrors.
That was the best of his hodgepodge of summaries; videos of their antics, words about them from the Ghostfacers, every person they'd saved or hindered. Results were fairly predictable -- Sam was kind and sweet despite being a horrible psychopath, per official records. Dean, on the other hand, was either everything a girl dreamed, or a total dickhead. That lined up well enough with the diner video.
Wasn't them, Sam had explained.
But it was all he had to go off of; until Sam. He painted a good picture; but he also suspected Sam painted too good a picture. A picture literally too good; no one was that kind. It ended up
So he went forward, eyes as open as he could, not knowing the things he can't know. "I've been waiting for how many seasons?" he asked, glancing around the air.
"It's about to be spring again. I'm tired of seeing the world change and know I'm missing something. Wake me up, Castiel. I need to know what I lost. Now and today. That is what I want. Screw the freaking consequences. I'm not interested in the side effects. I want to know."
He nodded his head, certainly, and stood, so he was able to meet Castiel's eyes clearer, stubborn and confident as he regarded the Angel, his eyes resolute, the fear in them counseled out.
SAM--
Sam nodded at both of them awkwardly, he wanted to defend Dean but knew that would be a moot point right now. The kid was angry, the dad… well. Whatever Dean was, he was angry too. They both wouldn’t listen. So here was Sam, playing the good uncle.
He looked over at Castiel with a curious look, then a light bulb went off – he understood what the look was for. Cas had something to say, but later.
“Okay, do I need to stay, or…?” He gestured. “Wait, I’ll stay. And, Ben, trust me, you want to know the side-effects.”
CASTIEL--
So like Dean, this boy. Again, briefly, he wondered how the humans could possibly miss it when it just seemed so clear to him. Although, he had the advantage of knowing with the same certainty that Lisa Braeden had who Ben's father was, but... Ah well, thoughts for another time. He needed to focus on what was to come. Especially as it would be the first true test of his power since the...change.
“Stay, Sam. Please.” Cas couldn't quite admit his concerns, not where Ben could hear him. The last thing he wanted was to frighten the poor boy; he'd done enough to him as it was. At least if Sam stayed, well...he wasn't actually sure what that might accomplish, but it made him feel a bit better about the whole thing.
Castiel turned his full attention to the human standing before him defiantly, so very brave in the face of the unknown. “Sam is correct, however. You need to understand what will happen. You will remember what actually happened, but you will remember what is false, as well.” Cas paused, studying Ben closely. “I will do what I can to minimize the impact of that, so that it doesn't drive you mad. But there will...likely be bleed over of your memories, and disorientation.”
Cas hesitated, drawn back to that moment years ago when he stood before Ben, younger, more trusting despite all he'd just been through. Once more, he felt the guilt and regret that coloured that entire period of his life, especially for what he'd done in a misguided effort to move toward making things right with Dean...even as he'd stayed his course, for good or ill. He should never have done as Dean demanded of him.
He pulled himself out of this thoughts, focusing once more on the young man standing before him. Cas met Ben's eyes once more, searching them for any sign of fear or hesitation. As he'd expected, he found none. Without a word, he raised his hand and placed two fingers to the boy's forehead. Grace swelled, lighting his eyes with a faint glow, and he pushed it into Ben. Seeking out the blocks that were the tiniest remnants of his own power, whispering to him, he worked quietly, carefully, breaking each one down, all of the thousands of them that were memories of Dean, or memories tied to Dean.
BEN--
Ben's own mouth and eyes lit, faintly, glowing with the wonder of Castiel's grace as his body arched dramatically, turned to tiptoes as his arms spanned back behind him and his chest rose toward the sky. He gasped, wordlessly, as that gentle touch opened his mind in a way that was beyond what he had any experience, or memory, of; until that memory, too, flashed through him. He remembered this; his eyes opened wide as his memories were erased, and new ones took root; he felt this same thing, but the perspective was different. Castiel was much taller than him, instead of an inch shorter.
But the surrealness of that moment passed, and in its place he felt it all; felt memories rushing through him. He remembers looking up to Dean as he hands him a wrench, nervous as he leaned over the Impala, raised up on the stool beneath him for height.
Calling Dean and begging him to come there, cuz his mom was possessed; a lie to get him to stop her from dating some guy.
Dean teaching him baseball.
Calling Dean, desperate, as he ran from the dead body below, his one-day-maybe-stepfather collapsed, murdered by demons, and Dean walking him through it all, telling him to jump, Ben moving from the window, before being grabbed.
Sam coming with Djinn on their heels, and that other Sam, the Campbells.
Holding a shotgun, slapped by Dean, told to protect his mother.
And then the other memories; and the real ones; all colliding, making no sense. He saw through another set of comprehension as Dean came in to claim he was just the driver who hit them-- the pain in his eyes...
It came back in a rush and he shook as the thousands of memories spider-webbed to Dean fought for room, struggled, and he collapsed, as the dam broke free entirely, crashed to the ground, hands grasping at the dirt and grass as he shook.
"Holy crap," he whispered, stunned.
SAM--
Sam took a step back at the glow showing up in their eyes, squinting a bit in concern as he watched them both. His eyebrows furrowed, hoping that nothing would go wrong. His head tilted a bit as he tried to hear some of the whispers falling from Castiel’s lips, but understanding none of them – Angel language. Then Castiel silenced himself, his eyes only for Ben. Sam’s eyes flicked over to Ben, unsure what the boy was seeing.
And there it was, Ben collapsing. Sam started forward, reaching out to Ben, “you okay?” He looked over to Castiel.
“Are you okay?”
Hell, he had no idea who to check on first. Also, he had no idea where that had come from with Castiel. He’d have to ask him later.
CASTIEL--
Castiel stepped away, the task done. He'd expected...well, he wasn't entirely sure what he'd expected, but it wasn't quite what happened. He hadn't meant to, but, unable to withdraw in time, he'd seen many of the memories all over again, the very same ones he'd struggled to lock away, to replace behind false images, years ago. Yet, it had been so much easier this time, almost effortless. The drain on his grace through the entire immense task had been barely noticeable.
More importantly, he'd accomplished it without burning the boy's mind out.
He met Sam's gaze, briefly, nodding, then his eyes flicked back to the boy on the ground. He knelt next to Ben, brushing two fingers against his forehead again, this time nothing more than a quick touch of grace to check to be sure the young man was alright...or, as alright as he could be, considering what he must be going through. “I'm sorry, Ben.”
BEN--
"Dude, you were an asshole," Ben whispered, before sitting back on his heels, his head canting towards Sam, giving him a slow shake of his head.
"I mean, total dickhead. Like, Lisa and I were just distractions to you. I liked the bald Sam better, and he was also a dick."
Shaking his head, he forced himself to his feet, slowly, shaking his head constantly as if he was checking to make sure nothing was going to up and rattle loose.
"Jesus, this is a lot to take in. I ... this is gonna take a while to process. I remember days twice. For... almost a year straight. It's so surreal, it..."
He paused, glancing to Cas. "You have to help my mom. Lisa. She has to know... she has to know why she's in prison. That it was ... that we were set up by monsters, by... by..." he squinted, trying to remember.
"That Crowley sent them after us. I remember Dean said that. She needs to remember."
SAM--
Sam rubbed at the back of his neck, nodding a bit, “I don’t like me back then either.” He wasn’t going to try to rush and defend himself, not right now, not when he was worried about Ben. “That’s for another day,” he pulled his hand off of his neck and gestured almost impatiently. “Are you okay?” He exhaled worriedly, studying both of them.
“When I started remembering, it was…” He tried to choose the right word that explained everything that had followed once he finally chipped through the wall that he should have left alone. “Too much all at once,” he couldn’t choose the right word.
He nodded somewhat, “Cas and I can do that for your mom.” He looked over at Castiel before looking back at Ben, “I think I know some people I can talk to about getting her out, at least legally.”
CASTIEL--
Castiel rose to his feet once he saw that Ben was doing alright, and felt it himself, since he still didn't quite trust that something that had come so easily to him had also come out right. It was...a rare thing. Doubly so where the Winchesters were concerned.
Sam was watching him as much as he was Ben, and Cas fought to remain calm under that scrutiny. Sam suspected something, he was certain of it. Just as he was certain that Sam would be sure to confront him about it. But, thankfully, not right now. So he did his best to ignore the younger Winchester's scrutiny, his focus remaining primarily on Ben as Sam tried to explain how it was for him when the wall Death had put into place had begun to chip...before Castiel himself ground it to dust. He couldn't allow himself to think about that now.
Instead, he met Sam's look, nodding slowly. “Yes. Let Sam take care of getting her out of prison, first. It would be best if she regains her memories somewhere safe.” He paused, eyes narrowing into a squint as he regarded the boy. “I will help your mother, Ben. Just...let us take care of it. You need to allow yourself time to recover.”
BEN--
"If you can't get her out of jail, right away? She still deserves to know the truth. Deserves to know why she's in there. I'm not interested in ... in... keeping secrets. That's what Winchesters do - and, from memory, what you do. But secrets ... as messed up as this headache is right now ... having things kept from me that ... having things kept from me ruined my life and my mom's. I'm not going to keep things from her 'for her own good'. There's no good in doing that, okay?"
He shook his head. "So.... so if Sam ... and Dean and you, and me, can't get my mom out within the next few weeks? She gets to know."
His eyes scanned back and forth, before settling on Castiel. "No argument, please. She deserves the truth. And... and I want to be involved if we are getting her out. If I can. Don't bench me. I'm a good hunter. And... and she's my mom."
He nodded his head, slowly, and brought his hand to his head. He kept repeating himself, starting sentence fragments over, and he kept grimacing. Even now, his head was splitting.
"Feel like I'm going to birth Athena," he groaned.
SAM--
Sam gave Ben a concerned little look, “don’t worry about that. We’ll figure it out,” the look turned into a frown. “Somehow. I told you I would get your memories back, so trust me a little bit here.” He paused, “despite what you remember.” Sam ran his fingers through his hair and chuckled, looking over at Castiel, “we’re not going to argue with you.
“I don’t think we’d win this one.” He tucked his hands in his pockets, looking to Castiel, “We’ll figure it out,” he repeated himself, hoping that they would actually be able to keep this promise too.
Clearing his throat, he chuckled, “I don’t envy your headache.” A slight frown as he stepped forward with a hand outstretched, “at least lay down. Lemme help.”
CASTIEL--
Stubborn Winchester, through and through. He traded a look with Sam, lips twisting into something that tried at being a rueful smile, but never quite made it there. Then Cas returned his attention back to Ben. “Sam's right. We're not going to argue. Your mother will remember everything, we will get her out of prison, and we will see to it she gets back as much of a life as we can offer her.”
He paused, trading another look with Sam as the hunter continued. “We will get it fixed. As much as it can be fixed.”
His hand shifted at his side, the desire to take away the pain from the boy rising, then halted when he realized this was one pain he couldn't remove. It had to run its course as the memories shifted into place again within his mind. “You won't be able to help like this, however. You need rest. Sam is right about that, as well.”
Castiel stepped forward, then hesitated, thinking better of it. He'd been the one to bring this pain, and the reason for it. An offer to help the boy sleep through the worst of the pain died on his lips as uncertainty gripped him. Instead, he stood awkwardly, eyes flicking from Ben to Sam, back and forth, unsure what he should do, or even if his presence was wanted anymore now that his task was done.
BEN--
"Yeah, I'mma do that. Rest up and-- all that."
Glancing to Sam, he cleared his throat. "Could you have someone-- if I black out through meals-- have someone bring make sure I eat? Someone I know, like... you, or Claire or Donna," he asked, hopeful, smiling a little, before he paused a moment and glanced to Castiel, wondering how much of what Sam said about Castiel's concern for Claire was legitimate. Must be weird; it's not really his daughter, after-all.
"Thank you very much, Castiel. I... get that... you're not the bad guy like you were then, by the way. I assume, at least. I hope you... I hope I can help you one day like you tried to help me before, and like you did help me today."
He reached out to shake the Archangel's hand, before nodding his head a last time and turning to pat Sam on the arm. "I don't think you're an asshole," he clarified, and turned to head into his cabin, wincing as he squeezed at his head.
SAM--
Sam chuckled at that, “yeah, I’ll make sure Donna knows what’s up before she sends the cavalry in.” He shook his head, glancing to Castiel, “hold up a sec, I wanna talk to you after Ben lays down.” He looked over at Ben, a little concerned look, “are you sure we can leave you alone to sleep?”
Then there was Ben, continuing on as if Sam hadn’t hovered over him like that.
He laughed a bit at Ben, “just a little bit of one, eh?” He waited to make sure Ben entered the cabin before looking over at Castiel. “Just what the hell was that?” He chuckled as he gestured for Castiel to go for a walk with him so they wouldn’t bother Ben.
CASTIEL--
Castiel caught the mention of Claire, and the look directed at him. It made him wonder how exactly Ben ran across Claire, and just what she might have told him. Not that he expected it to be anything particularly bad, not...after all they'd been through. She was family to him now, as much if not more so than even the Winchesters. But he had enough respect for her to keep out of it...for now.
Sam, however... He glanced to the hunter, then returned his attention to Ben. Or, at least, appeared to. He'd hoped to get away without Sam having the chance to corner him. But it looked like that wasn't going to happen. As much as he wanted to avoid the coming conversation, he wouldn't just...fly away. He owed Sam that much, at least.
“You're welcome, Ben.” He inclined his head in a solemn nod. “Thank you for...giving me a chance to make things...right.”Gravely, he took the young man's hand and shook it. And, with the touch, as subtly as he could, he pushed the tiniest fraction of grace into the boy. It wasn't much, likely not even noticeable, but...if it did its work, it would allow him to rest easier, and recover that little bit faster. It was, in truth, the least he could do.
He stood and waited while Sam watched for Ben to get into his cabin without incident, then sighed as Sam confronted him. But, though he remained silent for a little while, he didn't refuse the offer to walk off, agreeing with the unspoken sentiment to avoid disturbing Ben. The boy had been through enough.
“I did what was asked of me,” he finally responded. He glanced over to the taller man, then realized he wouldn't get off that easy. “I don't know where to start, Sam. Things have happened, are happening...will be happening.” He came to a stop, turning to look at the hunter. “I have a message for you and your brother.” Again, he hesitated. He'd answered, and yet...he knew full well he hadn't really given the answer to what Sam had been asking. The flare of grace earlier had been far beyond what he'd expected. And far beyond anything he'd ever been capable of before.
Sam wasn't stupid.
“Sam, I... I'm an archangel now,” Castiel finally admitted.
SAM--
“You did,” Sam nodded at the angel, “thank you.” He frowned, “Dean’s not going to be happy at all, he’s already pissed off enough that Ben is here.” He fell quiet, thinking about this as he walked next to Castiel, his hands tucked into his pockets. “I…” He stopped himself when he heard what Castiel said, “a message for us?” He quirked his eyebrow while coming to a stop, studying Castiel as he tensed up. “From who?”
Messages were never good.
Sam nodded slowly, “an archangel,” he nodded again, not even sure how to digest this information, or how to respond. “Is that why you’ve been gone from us?”
CASTIEL--
“I've been gone because...it's been a busy couple of weeks.” He couldn't help but laugh as he said it, he just really couldn't help it at all. Getting a grip on himself and his emotions – which still just bubbled up out of control at times, no matter how hard he fought to remain as calm and stoic as ever – he shrugged slightly “The message is from Death. Well, the new Death, the reaper who took over after...well, you know. But I need to deliver it to both you and Dean.”
He tilted his head up, looking at the stars shining in a cloudless sky overhead. And remained that way as he continued, finding it easier to keep to the calm and peace looking up at the lights above than if he met Sam's eyes, saw whatever might be showing on Sam's face, though he could well imagine. “Death, it seems, likes me. Admires me, he said. Who could have imagined?
“He wanted to reward me for always trying to do what I felt was the right thing.” He made a little scoffing noise at the back of his throat. “He took the raw grace of an archangel, and he fused it with my own. He remade me. My reward. And...he said it would set the balance right.”
Castiel let his head drop, meeting Sam's eyes once more. His lips twisted into a smile that could have even held a touch of bitterness about it. “He was right, of course. There has to be four of us – archangels. The irony doesn't escape me, that the angel that killed an archangel became the newest one.”
He spread his hands out, almost as though trying to show he meant no harm. And, perhaps, that is what he meant by the gesture. He wasn't really even sure himself. After all, Sam would have every reason to distrust him. He had a terrible record of doing things right when he did have power. And now he had power he'd never been able to imagine before. Perhaps not on the level of his failed attempt at playing God, but...sometimes, it felt not far off.
SAM--
“You have to deliver it to both of us?” Sam laughed at that, almost a defeated laugh, “good luck. I told you he was pissed at me.” He gave Cas a look, “I had to tell him about Ben finding us and how I brought him here. Dean really…” Sam kicked at the ground with a shake of his head, “he really doesn’t like that at all.” He looked down at his feet, “he’s gone, so that’s up to you to get him.” He hesitated, “I don’t think he’s going to like that you did give Ben his memories back either. So, I’d duck if he starts swinging.”
Sam shut up after the verbal vomit, looking back up at Castiel with a surprised look at his news, “you said there had to be four of you. How does that work if there’s only you and Lucifer?” Sam fell silent, nodding slowly again. “Sometimes you have to do what’s right, especially when everything seems wrong.” The irony of the words with this situation was not missed at all.
He chuckled as he kicked at the ground, “so you got a promotion, huh?” He glanced up at him, “is that why you’ve been gone, really? It’s weird not having you around the bunker.”
CASTIEL--
“Mm.” The sound was more acknowledgment than anything. “He can't really hurt me now. He'll calm down, or I'll find him. Whichever. There's...time, yet. Some.” Despite the dismissiveness of his words, he did sympathize with Sam. Dean when he was angry, when he felt betrayed, was something that even Castiel was hesitant to deal with. Even now.
There was the slightest flinch at Sam's mention of Lucifer, but Cas merely shrugged it off. “Michael's still alive, even if he's trapped. And...Gabriel is, as well. Turns out he just pulled another disappearing act after we sealed the Darkness away. He's still around.” He considered mentioning exactly why he was so certain of this, but let it go unsaid. That was Gabriel's little secret, and he would keep it to himself for now. It wasn't like Gabriel was in any shape to cause trouble for the Winchesters anyway.
There was a shrug again. Sam always seemed to sense when things were a little off, so he supposed it shouldn't have surprised him that Sam would keep digging until he ferreted out everything. In his own ways, he was just as stubborn as his brother. “I decided it was time to try to live like a human. You gave me all that money I...finally spent some of it. Claire helped me learn how to acquire a house of my own.”
There was the faintest of smiles as he considered what waited for him back at the house, then it dropped away as the full import of that hit him again. He'd been lucky to not immediately be distrusted by Sam, given what he'd revealed. Telling him about Meg? That...would likely push things over the edge, and he wasn't ready for that quite yet.
SAM--
Sam nodded a bit as he rolled his shoulders, “I just worry, you know?” He glanced over at Castiel, “I don’t want him going crazy.” He looked away, uncomfortable now. Actually grateful that they were talking about something else, anything else. “Wait,” he looked back at Castiel with a look of surprise, “Gabriel’s okay?” A slight quirk of his lips, “good.
“Just, no more tricks. I can’t handle that right now.” He held his hands up with a chuckle as he thought about some of the stuff that Gabriel had done in the past.
He dropped his hands, “you did?” Sam had a look of surprise that quickly turned into one of happiness, “That’s good for you!” He smiled as he reached out to pat Castiel on the shoulder because, well, hugging him would be just weird as hell. “Good. I’m happy,” he nodded then looked away. “Well, I gotta go check on Donna and make sure Ben is fed.” He looked back to him, “you’re going to be okay, right?”
CASTIEL--
Cas simply nodded, understanding Sam's worry, but also understanding there wasn't much to be done for it until Dean worked some of the anger out of his system. “Gabriel is... Well enough. You're safe from tricks. I think he just wants left alone.” He shrugged, not allowing the worry he held for his brother – an echo of that Sam held for Dean, which didn't escape him – to show.
The younger Winchester's happiness was surprisingly contagious, though he really should have known better by now. “Thank you, Sam,” he answered simply. He found he was grateful for Sam's distraction with Ben. And...he, too, still felt some concern for Dean's son. “I'll be fine. Go see Donna, get Ben taken care of. He'll need it.” His lips twitched, thinking of the woman, the smile settling into one that was fond.
“Oh, and...Sam? If you see Claire...tell her I'll call her soon. Please?” With that, he made a sort of shooing motion toward the main cabin. “Call me if you hear from Dean.” He didn't give Sam a chance to make any sort of reply to that. Instead, he simply vanished, leaving behind only the faint sound of feathers beating the air.
It had taken Sam a little time to wrap his head around the fact that Dean had walked out on him and the whole mess. After looking up some things about wiped memories and if it was even possible to get anything back, he couldn’t really find anything. So now it was time to do something about it, instead of just reading.
Sam leaned back in his chair and uttered a low curse. It was damned if he did, damned if he didn’t. Dean was furious with him, but he couldn’t just let Ben walk around with a big hole in his head. It wasn’t right.
He grabbed his phone off the table and found Cas’ number, thumbing it and waiting for it to ring. He’d have to call Cas first, then Ben, and…
Make something happen. He hoped.
CASTIEL--
Castiel was just walking out of Kelley's, bag in hand to take home, when his phone started ringing. He stepped around the corner, fishing it out of his pocket with the slightest hint of a fond smile playing on his lips. He'd assumed it would be Meg looking for him. He had been gone just about a full day at this point, and he could hardly fault her. His expression grew serious, however, when he saw the name on the screen.
Sam.
Swiping his thumb across the screen to connect the call, he answered in a tone as serious as his expression. “Sam. Is something wrong?” He listened, brows knitting. “I...” He hesitated, torn. “Yes, I can meet you at the academy.”
Another pause as he listened. “No, it's alright. I can be there...well, almost immediately.” Another pause, accompanied by a faint smile of amusement. “Like you, I'll explain when I see you. Apparently we both have things to talk about.”
He glanced down to the bag still clutched in his hand. With a resigned sigh, he said, “and I can even bring something to eat while we talk. I'll see you there, Sam.” Not giving the hunter a chance to say anything else, he thumbed the screen to disconnect the call. “Sorry, Meg,” he murmured to the empty air and vanished.
BEN--
He was finally resting. He'd barely slept a wink since he was dropped off, and since then, he had exercised almost religiously. It was a common source of purpose for him; he was driven, he was devoted, and he knew a moment's weakness could be death, so he had learned to be routine and focused and unrelenting in his physical acumen. It was also a way to purge demons, and with all the thoughts in his head, he had worked himself out viciously through the day, with a brief interruption by a falling angel-spawn (sort of).
The rest of his time had been trying to deduce puzzles from things Sam said, putting together details, expanding his hunter's journal.
And then finally sleep took him. With his journal lain across his chest, he was passed out in the chair at the desk in his cabin, head nestled against his own shoulder as he drifted unconscious, but clearly not where he really ought to be if he's intending a good night's sleep.
The research-until-oblivion was, however, likely not a new look for someone so connected to the name Winchester.
SAM--
Sam knew Cas would already be there way before him, so that part wasn’t the trouble. The next part might be a bit more problematic because he had to call Ben. Sam knew he should have called earlier in the day, but things had to be sorted through. He’d have to explain that to Ben too. Sam just shook his head as he got out of his chair, feeling his pockets for the keys to his car. He couldn’t find them just yet, so he found Ben’s number on the phone while looking around on the tables.
Oh yeah, okay, he remembered where he had put them. He wandered towards the keys while calling Ben, already grabbing his keys and making way to the stairs.
CASTIEL--
It seemed like forever since he'd been back to the academy. Just a few weeks, but...it seemed much longer. So much had happened, and much of it still had him at a loss. Now, that was all compounded by having to see Sam, and deal with whatever new problem had cropped up. And, of course, try to decide just how much of what had been going on to tell the hunter. He had a message to pass along, after all, in amongst everything else. Maybe, though, it could wait a bit longer.
Sam would have to make the trip out from the bunker, so Cas knew he had some time. Not enough to pop home and make his explanations to Meg, but...maybe enough to wander the grounds a bit. He missed this place, and missed his sojourns into the woods surrounding the cabin. He missed the quiet, and the peace.
And, he missed Claire. But...as much as he wanted to, he wasn't going to disturb her. Not yet, anyway. Not until he found out what was going on...and until he could decide how to tell her what needed to be said, as well.
It seemed like his life had become nothing but a morass of secrets.
BEN--
The phone shocked him out of his slumber, and he dropped his book and found himself falling out of the chair he was in, catching himself with enough agility to find himself on both of his feet, breathing heavily and uncertain for a moment. Fumbling, he grabbed the phone he had dropped onto the floor and picked it up; he sounded very much like he had just been shocked awake from his sleep, which was entirely accurate.
"Sam, Sam, hey, I'm up. Hey. What's-- yaaaawwwwwwnnn--- what's up?" he asked, grumbling to himself after that weakness of his yawn, showcasing the lack of consciousness he had just been roused from. It was a little embarrassing, but he blew past it.
"Is it Dean?" he asked, surprisingly hopeful for a moment, before it clicked to him what else it could be, and he asked with a fearful and hopeful curiosity.
"...Castiel?" he amended, nerves clear in his voice, although apprehensive or overjoyed were hard to determine perfectly.
SAM--
Sam chuckled as he paused on the stairs, “did I wake you?” He gave a look of amusement to the air in front of him before continuing up the stairs again, “no, well, yes. It’s complicated,” Sam hesitated for a moment while opening the door, muttering at things. “Look, I’ll have to explain stuff to you when I’m at the Academy.
“I’ll be there in… “ He glanced at his watch, “twenty minutes.” He closed the door behind him and started toward the car, “oh hey, you might see this awkward looking guy in a trench coat.” He grinned, “he’s one of the good guys. Don’t bumrush him until I introduce you to him.
“Please.” Without even saying bye, he hung up and got into the car to head over to the academy.
BEN--
"Castiel," he said, making it clear he knew just who Sam meant. Why else would Sam have him meet some guy in a trenchcoat? He said he'd get their guy who got his memories taken away; and he made it clear enough that was Castiel; and he had described the guy in passing. It lined up well with awkward looking guy in a trench coat. Informative, condemning, illustrative, and it also confirmed a lot without saying anything. But that word was half-started at best before it clicked; he doubted Sam heard anything but 'Cah' at best before the sudden click.
Stretching, he set down his book, and rolled his neck, working out the kinks. Sam had woken him, not that Sam seemed to care enough past his initial laughing inquiry, given his race to move on. Ben was left to try to figure out what to do, and where to assemble; but truth be told, he had no idea where most of anything was here, really, except his own location, but that seemed all he likely needed. After-all, they were coming for his brain and the secrets locked inside. He could've stayed in bedchair for all it mattered.
He opened the front door, and moved to sit on his own front stoop, eyeing out into the dark, waiting for this awkward trench coated dude who held all the secrets.
A concept that Ben had no idea was as true as it was.
SAM--
While driving, Sam hoped that Ben wouldn’t stab the poor guy first before asking questions – he seemed to be that type. He fidgeted with the steering wheel while he tried to think of what to say and how to approach this whole subject without making Castiel think he fucked things up – or putting Ben on the defensive. Hell, he also had to explain to both of them that Dean was downright pissed.
Why couldn’t things be simple and everyone welcome the long lost son?
He ran his hand over his face while making a turn, he was about ten minutes out.
CASTIEL--
His wandering took him around the side of the main cabin, where he hesitated for a moment before continuing on. Now wasn't the time to go in and see Donna and Jody, more people he had to make explanations to. There was just...too much of that. It was overwhelming, with everything that was going on. Instead, he slipped around to the back, fully intending on going on past the smaller cabins back there and to the edge of the woods where he could soak in some peace while still being in range of hearing any vehicles coming.
He stopped, however, when he spotted what he took to be a student sitting out on the little stoop, looking out into the dark. Looking...well, a little lost, if anyone had asked Cas. He stood watching the young man for a moment, then, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his coat approached.
Only to come to a stop, eyes going wide, as he recognized the young man he'd last seen as a boy in a hospital. What was Dean's son doing here, of all places? There was no doubt this must be the situation Sam called him about. This couldn't be a coincidence. Cas closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again and approached.
As he stepped into what little light came from the cabin, he stopped again. “Hello, Ben.” The words were soft despite his rough voice, and he let silence fall after he spoke them, merely studying the young man.
BEN--
He was just waiting, knowing they'd make their way there, when he spotted the angel. And the angel spotted him well before it, he was very sure, but all the same, he knew just who this guy was from several corroborating sources.
"Castiel," he offered pleasantly, with a nod of his head. He smiled a little, as he considered the guy, weighing his head side to side a little as he really took a good, hard look at the angel. Well, she maybe got the slight rounding of her features from him, maybe the eyes, that's about it, best he could tell. Must've had a pretty mom, because dad wasn't anything special.
But there was more to his inspection than trying to match features; he also was looking for recognition. There was nothing there. All he knew was there was some sort of instinctual hesitation; like how one instinctively knows to flinch from fire. But he didn't give in, just shrugging it off and letting the guy approach.
"Don't worry, I don't remember meeting you. It's all intact. I'm just attentive." More, he did more than know this guy from stories from Sam; he had multiple pictures, and he had a video from a campaign headquarters he saw while scanning for similar videos to give more projects to hunt. But that memory was distant, scratching at him; he looked like something and Ben couldn't quite put his finger on that connection.
Except the suit, the wings, all of it, it made sense. His eyes narrowed a moment. "Don't you usually wear a tie?" he asked, recalling the pictures he'd found while hunting Dean and Sam, the ones with this Angel in them.
SAM--
Sam hit the long driveway leading to the Academy, fiddling with the steering wheel while he did so. He thought about calling one of them, but figured it was overkill – they must have already ran into each other by now. He wasn’t that stupid, but he had kinda hoped that Castiel got sidetracked by Donna – it would make things a little bit easier.
A little more ways, then he arrived in front of the main cabin. No sign of Cas’ car, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t there.
“Lovely,” he sighed as he stepped out, remembering to take the keys with him this time. Jody had warned him about some of the kids taking joy rides. Pocketing the keys, he managed to bypass the main cabin, making a mental note to drop in and say hi to Donna before he left, and he walked the path towards the cabins in the back.
CASTIEL--
Cas merely hummed an acknowledgment, stepping closer once he was sure Ben had ample opportunity to study him in return. He had no doubts that the block still held. The chances of the boy being sane with it having failed were incredibly slim. Yet, it didn't entirely surprise him that Ben had found his way to the very same vicinity where he was, and, more importantly, where Dean and Sam were. Ben had a lot of his father in him, including a soul-deep stubbornness that had made fixing the block in his mind incredibly difficult while still allowing the boy to remain, essentially, himself.
There was a flash of a smile, gone almost as quickly as it had appeared. “Often, yes. It's been...a busy day.” His words were followed by a low chuckle, finding himself amused at his own understatement. He could hear a car in the distance, and briefly wondered where Dean was, since that was most certainly not the Impala. Well, he supposed he'd learn the rest of what was going on soon enough.
Cas had something he wanted to say before Sam interrupted. “I'm going to take a guess. You learned something you shouldn't have, and decided you needed to hunt down your... Ah, Dean and Sam.” His head canted to the side, studying the effect his words had on Ben, more curious about that than any answer he actually got.
His examination of Ben was brought to a halt when he heard footsteps coming from around the cabin. “Hello, Sam,” he said, not bothering to turn away from Ben. He was, he found, deeply curious about Ben. He could see so many little things about the young man that were achingly familiar. It made him wonder how Dean had never seen them.
BEN--
"Other way around, Castiel. When you wiped my mom and I, you didn't wipe the scene where my mom's boyfriend was murdered, or the evidence of her fingerprints, or pictures like these," he explained as he pulled free a photo and tossed it his way, should he mean to catch it. It had a nice, clear picture of Dean giving the kid Ben a noogie, and Ben trying very hard to look like he wasn't happier than he'd ever looked in his life, and failing.
"So my mom went to prison for murdering her boyfriend, which neither of us remember-- maybe she did and you took that away? We had an alibi that didn't check out - because our car we got into an accident with was still parked in the driveway at home. So, once I could, I followed the breadcrumbs to find out who set my mom up for murder."
He gestured, slowly. "I was pretty shocked by what I found. Good to know, angel does not equal omniscient."
Smiling ruefully, trying not to be too harsh, but failing, he glanced to Sam and nodded his head. "Sam," he grunted, his eyes returning quickly to the Angel who was the reason he was sitting her, clueless, afraid, confused and lost.
The Angel who was likely the reason - or the cause, rather - of all his suffering. Dean might've ordered it, but Castiel was the weapon. Very murky waters. He tried his best not to judge anyone, but, he still did it all the time, and he found himself certainly doing it now. He tried not to, but it basically never happened.
He was a hunter, after-all; judgments were meted.
SAM--
Sam stopped in his steps as he realized that they had met, but hey, the good thing was that Castiel was still alive. “Cas,” he attempted a cheerful smile as he rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly while studying them. “Okay, so you’ve both met,” his hand slipped from back of his neck into a clap. “So, Ben – This is Castiel, Castiel, this is Ben.”
Sam shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He tried to think of where to start, Dean was usually the better one at pointing out what happened, what should happen, and what people were going to do about it.
“Okay, so,” he exhaled, “Ben found me, I told him stuff, “ a pause, he rushed, “no bad stuff. All good. Well. Mostly good.” He seesawed on his feet again, nervous, “but anyway. Ben and I got to talking, he wants to remember things.
“Riiight?” He looked over at Ben with an expression of uncertainty.
CASTIEL--
Castiel caught the photograph easily enough, glancing down at it as he listened to the pain in Ben's words as well as the words themselves,, only to find himself caught by the simple scene in the picture. Ben's pain was swiftly echoed in clear blue eyes, always more expressive than the rest of his expression, and lately even more so than he really wanted them to be. It was a period filled with regrets sorrow, and what he'd done to Ben and his mother – even if at Dean's request – was very much a part of that. One among many things he'd never quite be able to atone for.
Yet, maybe here, he would have a chance to start doing that.
“No. Unfortunately angels are fallible. I, perhaps, am more so than most.” He pulled his eyes up from the photograph, then stepped forward to silently offer it back to Ben.
Instead of offering any excuses for his actions, he listened to Sam make his explanation instead. He should have seen it coming, of course. Ben wanted his memories back. And...the only one they knew that could do that was, of course, him.
“Alright,” he responded simply, and almost immediately. It wouldn't be easy, nor was it likely to be comfortable for Ben. But, he had the right to make that choice. It was a decision Castiel wouldn't hesitate to have allowed him, no matter the circumstances. And...at least now, finally, some of the recent events were working in his favour. The process would be far simpler now than it would have been even just two weeks ago.
BEN--
Ben took the photograph, while hearing Castiel's words and Sam's own conciliatory ones. "I'm just answering his questions," Ben offered, tersely, his lips tight as he did his best to swallow his frustrations and his blame. "He asked how I got here-- I clarified his guess," he contested, defensively.
Ultimately, though, he shrugged and sighed. "It's whatever. I really just want him to know that this isn't just for me; my mom needs to ... she needs to remember, too." He sounded apologetic, there, somehow coming to terms with Sammy's unsubtle suggestion to pull in his claws. It was as close as the angel would get for apology for Ben's terse response, most likely.
"I mean... what Sam said," Ben stated, pointedly, towards the Angel. "I'm here for my memories. And for my mom's. And then the help to get her out of prison. That's it. All I need is... to know, and then I can get out of everyone's hair," he grumbled, self-sacrificing and hungry to move on from the touchy topic if it meant finally getting what he wanted. Freedom - knowledge - understanding.
Things worth his labor. "Thanks, Castiel. For uhm. Helping," Ben spoke, carefully, forcing the sincerity in his voice he wanted to be there, even if it wasn't truly. The man was partly to blame, no matter how he tried to pretend otherwise, and it was difficult not to scream and rant, but... he followed orders, perhaps. Just like Sam had for not looking in on him.
None of them had looked again, to make sure. That was the part that upset the most.
And he forced it down again, focusing on his gratitude; focusing on the memories he might finally reclaim.
SAM--
Sam had opened his mouth, ready to come up with explanations of why this would work and why it was a good idea when Castiel had agreed without any more argument. His mouth closed, “oh.” He had really worked himself up for… nothing. He tucked his hands into his pockets, “now, the next part?
“Dean knows you’re here,” he looked over at Ben, frowning a bit, then he looked to Castiel. “Let’s say he’s not happy right now.
“He’s not going to be any happier after all this happens,” Sam rolled his shoulders, “but it’s the right thing. We need to help your mom and you.”
CASTIEL--
His lips quirked, another there-then-gone flash of a smile. “I'll do what I can to help you, Ben. And your mother. You deserve it. You don't owe me any thanks for merely agreeing to give you back what was taken from you. Reluctantly, on my part. But I did it nonetheless. I accept responsibility for that.”
He couldn't quite bring himself to apologize to the boy, no matter how much blame he accepted, no matter how much guilt he harboured. It was, he felt, Dean's place to apologize to his son for the choice the hunter made for him, and for them all. Still..
“For what it may be worth, however, I am sorry your mother is incarcerated. I didn't fully understand what would happen.” His eyes slid over to Sam, and there was another of those flashes of a smile. “My experiences were with those who understood how to avoid issues with the police in ways I never did.”
Cas' eyes narrowed, regarding Sam. It seemed, perhaps, Castiel himself wasn't the only one back to keeping secrets. Well, it only increased the need to talk to Sam as soon as possible. But, he wasn't going to involve Ben in the rest of it. Later, he decided, letting his look to Sam grow pointed before he turned his attention back to Ben.
Cas stepped closer to Ben, looking down at him“I need to know you are absolutely certain you want this, Ben Braeden. It will be disorienting, and, likely, uncomfortable for you.” Blue eyes were staring down at the young man, serious and intent. “We can wait if you'd rather. Or, this can be done right now.”
BEN--
"Honestly, all I know about him is he's a dick who left me and my mom to rot, when he was supposed to be... my dad or something. I don't give a single crap what he wants. I need to know. I deserve to know. So screw that guy."
An easy statement for him to make before the memories of the prior life came back; for now, Dean was a phantom in a photograph, which he looked at now, considering it. He was academically aware that it looked as if he was having fun in photos with him, that he loved the guy maybe even, but it was academic. In his heart, there wasn't anything-- no memories of what it meant, not until he formed those experiences while hunting these beasts, realizing slowly more and more, painting a picture as he met former survivors from their attacks that had met the Winchesters... and videos of their horrors.
That was the best of his hodgepodge of summaries; videos of their antics, words about them from the Ghostfacers, every person they'd saved or hindered. Results were fairly predictable -- Sam was kind and sweet despite being a horrible psychopath, per official records. Dean, on the other hand, was either everything a girl dreamed, or a total dickhead. That lined up well enough with the diner video.
Wasn't them, Sam had explained.
But it was all he had to go off of; until Sam. He painted a good picture; but he also suspected Sam painted too good a picture. A picture literally too good; no one was that kind. It ended up
So he went forward, eyes as open as he could, not knowing the things he can't know. "I've been waiting for how many seasons?" he asked, glancing around the air.
"It's about to be spring again. I'm tired of seeing the world change and know I'm missing something. Wake me up, Castiel. I need to know what I lost. Now and today. That is what I want. Screw the freaking consequences. I'm not interested in the side effects. I want to know."
He nodded his head, certainly, and stood, so he was able to meet Castiel's eyes clearer, stubborn and confident as he regarded the Angel, his eyes resolute, the fear in them counseled out.
SAM--
Sam nodded at both of them awkwardly, he wanted to defend Dean but knew that would be a moot point right now. The kid was angry, the dad… well. Whatever Dean was, he was angry too. They both wouldn’t listen. So here was Sam, playing the good uncle.
He looked over at Castiel with a curious look, then a light bulb went off – he understood what the look was for. Cas had something to say, but later.
“Okay, do I need to stay, or…?” He gestured. “Wait, I’ll stay. And, Ben, trust me, you want to know the side-effects.”
CASTIEL--
So like Dean, this boy. Again, briefly, he wondered how the humans could possibly miss it when it just seemed so clear to him. Although, he had the advantage of knowing with the same certainty that Lisa Braeden had who Ben's father was, but... Ah well, thoughts for another time. He needed to focus on what was to come. Especially as it would be the first true test of his power since the...change.
“Stay, Sam. Please.” Cas couldn't quite admit his concerns, not where Ben could hear him. The last thing he wanted was to frighten the poor boy; he'd done enough to him as it was. At least if Sam stayed, well...he wasn't actually sure what that might accomplish, but it made him feel a bit better about the whole thing.
Castiel turned his full attention to the human standing before him defiantly, so very brave in the face of the unknown. “Sam is correct, however. You need to understand what will happen. You will remember what actually happened, but you will remember what is false, as well.” Cas paused, studying Ben closely. “I will do what I can to minimize the impact of that, so that it doesn't drive you mad. But there will...likely be bleed over of your memories, and disorientation.”
Cas hesitated, drawn back to that moment years ago when he stood before Ben, younger, more trusting despite all he'd just been through. Once more, he felt the guilt and regret that coloured that entire period of his life, especially for what he'd done in a misguided effort to move toward making things right with Dean...even as he'd stayed his course, for good or ill. He should never have done as Dean demanded of him.
He pulled himself out of this thoughts, focusing once more on the young man standing before him. Cas met Ben's eyes once more, searching them for any sign of fear or hesitation. As he'd expected, he found none. Without a word, he raised his hand and placed two fingers to the boy's forehead. Grace swelled, lighting his eyes with a faint glow, and he pushed it into Ben. Seeking out the blocks that were the tiniest remnants of his own power, whispering to him, he worked quietly, carefully, breaking each one down, all of the thousands of them that were memories of Dean, or memories tied to Dean.
BEN--
Ben's own mouth and eyes lit, faintly, glowing with the wonder of Castiel's grace as his body arched dramatically, turned to tiptoes as his arms spanned back behind him and his chest rose toward the sky. He gasped, wordlessly, as that gentle touch opened his mind in a way that was beyond what he had any experience, or memory, of; until that memory, too, flashed through him. He remembered this; his eyes opened wide as his memories were erased, and new ones took root; he felt this same thing, but the perspective was different. Castiel was much taller than him, instead of an inch shorter.
But the surrealness of that moment passed, and in its place he felt it all; felt memories rushing through him. He remembers looking up to Dean as he hands him a wrench, nervous as he leaned over the Impala, raised up on the stool beneath him for height.
Calling Dean and begging him to come there, cuz his mom was possessed; a lie to get him to stop her from dating some guy.
Dean teaching him baseball.
Calling Dean, desperate, as he ran from the dead body below, his one-day-maybe-stepfather collapsed, murdered by demons, and Dean walking him through it all, telling him to jump, Ben moving from the window, before being grabbed.
Sam coming with Djinn on their heels, and that other Sam, the Campbells.
Holding a shotgun, slapped by Dean, told to protect his mother.
And then the other memories; and the real ones; all colliding, making no sense. He saw through another set of comprehension as Dean came in to claim he was just the driver who hit them-- the pain in his eyes...
It came back in a rush and he shook as the thousands of memories spider-webbed to Dean fought for room, struggled, and he collapsed, as the dam broke free entirely, crashed to the ground, hands grasping at the dirt and grass as he shook.
"Holy crap," he whispered, stunned.
SAM--
Sam took a step back at the glow showing up in their eyes, squinting a bit in concern as he watched them both. His eyebrows furrowed, hoping that nothing would go wrong. His head tilted a bit as he tried to hear some of the whispers falling from Castiel’s lips, but understanding none of them – Angel language. Then Castiel silenced himself, his eyes only for Ben. Sam’s eyes flicked over to Ben, unsure what the boy was seeing.
And there it was, Ben collapsing. Sam started forward, reaching out to Ben, “you okay?” He looked over to Castiel.
“Are you okay?”
Hell, he had no idea who to check on first. Also, he had no idea where that had come from with Castiel. He’d have to ask him later.
CASTIEL--
Castiel stepped away, the task done. He'd expected...well, he wasn't entirely sure what he'd expected, but it wasn't quite what happened. He hadn't meant to, but, unable to withdraw in time, he'd seen many of the memories all over again, the very same ones he'd struggled to lock away, to replace behind false images, years ago. Yet, it had been so much easier this time, almost effortless. The drain on his grace through the entire immense task had been barely noticeable.
More importantly, he'd accomplished it without burning the boy's mind out.
He met Sam's gaze, briefly, nodding, then his eyes flicked back to the boy on the ground. He knelt next to Ben, brushing two fingers against his forehead again, this time nothing more than a quick touch of grace to check to be sure the young man was alright...or, as alright as he could be, considering what he must be going through. “I'm sorry, Ben.”
BEN--
"Dude, you were an asshole," Ben whispered, before sitting back on his heels, his head canting towards Sam, giving him a slow shake of his head.
"I mean, total dickhead. Like, Lisa and I were just distractions to you. I liked the bald Sam better, and he was also a dick."
Shaking his head, he forced himself to his feet, slowly, shaking his head constantly as if he was checking to make sure nothing was going to up and rattle loose.
"Jesus, this is a lot to take in. I ... this is gonna take a while to process. I remember days twice. For... almost a year straight. It's so surreal, it..."
He paused, glancing to Cas. "You have to help my mom. Lisa. She has to know... she has to know why she's in prison. That it was ... that we were set up by monsters, by... by..." he squinted, trying to remember.
"That Crowley sent them after us. I remember Dean said that. She needs to remember."
SAM--
Sam rubbed at the back of his neck, nodding a bit, “I don’t like me back then either.” He wasn’t going to try to rush and defend himself, not right now, not when he was worried about Ben. “That’s for another day,” he pulled his hand off of his neck and gestured almost impatiently. “Are you okay?” He exhaled worriedly, studying both of them.
“When I started remembering, it was…” He tried to choose the right word that explained everything that had followed once he finally chipped through the wall that he should have left alone. “Too much all at once,” he couldn’t choose the right word.
He nodded somewhat, “Cas and I can do that for your mom.” He looked over at Castiel before looking back at Ben, “I think I know some people I can talk to about getting her out, at least legally.”
CASTIEL--
Castiel rose to his feet once he saw that Ben was doing alright, and felt it himself, since he still didn't quite trust that something that had come so easily to him had also come out right. It was...a rare thing. Doubly so where the Winchesters were concerned.
Sam was watching him as much as he was Ben, and Cas fought to remain calm under that scrutiny. Sam suspected something, he was certain of it. Just as he was certain that Sam would be sure to confront him about it. But, thankfully, not right now. So he did his best to ignore the younger Winchester's scrutiny, his focus remaining primarily on Ben as Sam tried to explain how it was for him when the wall Death had put into place had begun to chip...before Castiel himself ground it to dust. He couldn't allow himself to think about that now.
Instead, he met Sam's look, nodding slowly. “Yes. Let Sam take care of getting her out of prison, first. It would be best if she regains her memories somewhere safe.” He paused, eyes narrowing into a squint as he regarded the boy. “I will help your mother, Ben. Just...let us take care of it. You need to allow yourself time to recover.”
BEN--
"If you can't get her out of jail, right away? She still deserves to know the truth. Deserves to know why she's in there. I'm not interested in ... in... keeping secrets. That's what Winchesters do - and, from memory, what you do. But secrets ... as messed up as this headache is right now ... having things kept from me that ... having things kept from me ruined my life and my mom's. I'm not going to keep things from her 'for her own good'. There's no good in doing that, okay?"
He shook his head. "So.... so if Sam ... and Dean and you, and me, can't get my mom out within the next few weeks? She gets to know."
His eyes scanned back and forth, before settling on Castiel. "No argument, please. She deserves the truth. And... and I want to be involved if we are getting her out. If I can. Don't bench me. I'm a good hunter. And... and she's my mom."
He nodded his head, slowly, and brought his hand to his head. He kept repeating himself, starting sentence fragments over, and he kept grimacing. Even now, his head was splitting.
"Feel like I'm going to birth Athena," he groaned.
SAM--
Sam gave Ben a concerned little look, “don’t worry about that. We’ll figure it out,” the look turned into a frown. “Somehow. I told you I would get your memories back, so trust me a little bit here.” He paused, “despite what you remember.” Sam ran his fingers through his hair and chuckled, looking over at Castiel, “we’re not going to argue with you.
“I don’t think we’d win this one.” He tucked his hands in his pockets, looking to Castiel, “We’ll figure it out,” he repeated himself, hoping that they would actually be able to keep this promise too.
Clearing his throat, he chuckled, “I don’t envy your headache.” A slight frown as he stepped forward with a hand outstretched, “at least lay down. Lemme help.”
CASTIEL--
Stubborn Winchester, through and through. He traded a look with Sam, lips twisting into something that tried at being a rueful smile, but never quite made it there. Then Cas returned his attention back to Ben. “Sam's right. We're not going to argue. Your mother will remember everything, we will get her out of prison, and we will see to it she gets back as much of a life as we can offer her.”
He paused, trading another look with Sam as the hunter continued. “We will get it fixed. As much as it can be fixed.”
His hand shifted at his side, the desire to take away the pain from the boy rising, then halted when he realized this was one pain he couldn't remove. It had to run its course as the memories shifted into place again within his mind. “You won't be able to help like this, however. You need rest. Sam is right about that, as well.”
Castiel stepped forward, then hesitated, thinking better of it. He'd been the one to bring this pain, and the reason for it. An offer to help the boy sleep through the worst of the pain died on his lips as uncertainty gripped him. Instead, he stood awkwardly, eyes flicking from Ben to Sam, back and forth, unsure what he should do, or even if his presence was wanted anymore now that his task was done.
BEN--
"Yeah, I'mma do that. Rest up and-- all that."
Glancing to Sam, he cleared his throat. "Could you have someone-- if I black out through meals-- have someone bring make sure I eat? Someone I know, like... you, or Claire or Donna," he asked, hopeful, smiling a little, before he paused a moment and glanced to Castiel, wondering how much of what Sam said about Castiel's concern for Claire was legitimate. Must be weird; it's not really his daughter, after-all.
"Thank you very much, Castiel. I... get that... you're not the bad guy like you were then, by the way. I assume, at least. I hope you... I hope I can help you one day like you tried to help me before, and like you did help me today."
He reached out to shake the Archangel's hand, before nodding his head a last time and turning to pat Sam on the arm. "I don't think you're an asshole," he clarified, and turned to head into his cabin, wincing as he squeezed at his head.
SAM--
Sam chuckled at that, “yeah, I’ll make sure Donna knows what’s up before she sends the cavalry in.” He shook his head, glancing to Castiel, “hold up a sec, I wanna talk to you after Ben lays down.” He looked over at Ben, a little concerned look, “are you sure we can leave you alone to sleep?”
Then there was Ben, continuing on as if Sam hadn’t hovered over him like that.
He laughed a bit at Ben, “just a little bit of one, eh?” He waited to make sure Ben entered the cabin before looking over at Castiel. “Just what the hell was that?” He chuckled as he gestured for Castiel to go for a walk with him so they wouldn’t bother Ben.
CASTIEL--
Castiel caught the mention of Claire, and the look directed at him. It made him wonder how exactly Ben ran across Claire, and just what she might have told him. Not that he expected it to be anything particularly bad, not...after all they'd been through. She was family to him now, as much if not more so than even the Winchesters. But he had enough respect for her to keep out of it...for now.
Sam, however... He glanced to the hunter, then returned his attention to Ben. Or, at least, appeared to. He'd hoped to get away without Sam having the chance to corner him. But it looked like that wasn't going to happen. As much as he wanted to avoid the coming conversation, he wouldn't just...fly away. He owed Sam that much, at least.
“You're welcome, Ben.” He inclined his head in a solemn nod. “Thank you for...giving me a chance to make things...right.”Gravely, he took the young man's hand and shook it. And, with the touch, as subtly as he could, he pushed the tiniest fraction of grace into the boy. It wasn't much, likely not even noticeable, but...if it did its work, it would allow him to rest easier, and recover that little bit faster. It was, in truth, the least he could do.
He stood and waited while Sam watched for Ben to get into his cabin without incident, then sighed as Sam confronted him. But, though he remained silent for a little while, he didn't refuse the offer to walk off, agreeing with the unspoken sentiment to avoid disturbing Ben. The boy had been through enough.
“I did what was asked of me,” he finally responded. He glanced over to the taller man, then realized he wouldn't get off that easy. “I don't know where to start, Sam. Things have happened, are happening...will be happening.” He came to a stop, turning to look at the hunter. “I have a message for you and your brother.” Again, he hesitated. He'd answered, and yet...he knew full well he hadn't really given the answer to what Sam had been asking. The flare of grace earlier had been far beyond what he'd expected. And far beyond anything he'd ever been capable of before.
Sam wasn't stupid.
“Sam, I... I'm an archangel now,” Castiel finally admitted.
SAM--
“You did,” Sam nodded at the angel, “thank you.” He frowned, “Dean’s not going to be happy at all, he’s already pissed off enough that Ben is here.” He fell quiet, thinking about this as he walked next to Castiel, his hands tucked into his pockets. “I…” He stopped himself when he heard what Castiel said, “a message for us?” He quirked his eyebrow while coming to a stop, studying Castiel as he tensed up. “From who?”
Messages were never good.
Sam nodded slowly, “an archangel,” he nodded again, not even sure how to digest this information, or how to respond. “Is that why you’ve been gone from us?”
CASTIEL--
“I've been gone because...it's been a busy couple of weeks.” He couldn't help but laugh as he said it, he just really couldn't help it at all. Getting a grip on himself and his emotions – which still just bubbled up out of control at times, no matter how hard he fought to remain as calm and stoic as ever – he shrugged slightly “The message is from Death. Well, the new Death, the reaper who took over after...well, you know. But I need to deliver it to both you and Dean.”
He tilted his head up, looking at the stars shining in a cloudless sky overhead. And remained that way as he continued, finding it easier to keep to the calm and peace looking up at the lights above than if he met Sam's eyes, saw whatever might be showing on Sam's face, though he could well imagine. “Death, it seems, likes me. Admires me, he said. Who could have imagined?
“He wanted to reward me for always trying to do what I felt was the right thing.” He made a little scoffing noise at the back of his throat. “He took the raw grace of an archangel, and he fused it with my own. He remade me. My reward. And...he said it would set the balance right.”
Castiel let his head drop, meeting Sam's eyes once more. His lips twisted into a smile that could have even held a touch of bitterness about it. “He was right, of course. There has to be four of us – archangels. The irony doesn't escape me, that the angel that killed an archangel became the newest one.”
He spread his hands out, almost as though trying to show he meant no harm. And, perhaps, that is what he meant by the gesture. He wasn't really even sure himself. After all, Sam would have every reason to distrust him. He had a terrible record of doing things right when he did have power. And now he had power he'd never been able to imagine before. Perhaps not on the level of his failed attempt at playing God, but...sometimes, it felt not far off.
SAM--
“You have to deliver it to both of us?” Sam laughed at that, almost a defeated laugh, “good luck. I told you he was pissed at me.” He gave Cas a look, “I had to tell him about Ben finding us and how I brought him here. Dean really…” Sam kicked at the ground with a shake of his head, “he really doesn’t like that at all.” He looked down at his feet, “he’s gone, so that’s up to you to get him.” He hesitated, “I don’t think he’s going to like that you did give Ben his memories back either. So, I’d duck if he starts swinging.”
Sam shut up after the verbal vomit, looking back up at Castiel with a surprised look at his news, “you said there had to be four of you. How does that work if there’s only you and Lucifer?” Sam fell silent, nodding slowly again. “Sometimes you have to do what’s right, especially when everything seems wrong.” The irony of the words with this situation was not missed at all.
He chuckled as he kicked at the ground, “so you got a promotion, huh?” He glanced up at him, “is that why you’ve been gone, really? It’s weird not having you around the bunker.”
CASTIEL--
“Mm.” The sound was more acknowledgment than anything. “He can't really hurt me now. He'll calm down, or I'll find him. Whichever. There's...time, yet. Some.” Despite the dismissiveness of his words, he did sympathize with Sam. Dean when he was angry, when he felt betrayed, was something that even Castiel was hesitant to deal with. Even now.
There was the slightest flinch at Sam's mention of Lucifer, but Cas merely shrugged it off. “Michael's still alive, even if he's trapped. And...Gabriel is, as well. Turns out he just pulled another disappearing act after we sealed the Darkness away. He's still around.” He considered mentioning exactly why he was so certain of this, but let it go unsaid. That was Gabriel's little secret, and he would keep it to himself for now. It wasn't like Gabriel was in any shape to cause trouble for the Winchesters anyway.
There was a shrug again. Sam always seemed to sense when things were a little off, so he supposed it shouldn't have surprised him that Sam would keep digging until he ferreted out everything. In his own ways, he was just as stubborn as his brother. “I decided it was time to try to live like a human. You gave me all that money I...finally spent some of it. Claire helped me learn how to acquire a house of my own.”
There was the faintest of smiles as he considered what waited for him back at the house, then it dropped away as the full import of that hit him again. He'd been lucky to not immediately be distrusted by Sam, given what he'd revealed. Telling him about Meg? That...would likely push things over the edge, and he wasn't ready for that quite yet.
SAM--
Sam nodded a bit as he rolled his shoulders, “I just worry, you know?” He glanced over at Castiel, “I don’t want him going crazy.” He looked away, uncomfortable now. Actually grateful that they were talking about something else, anything else. “Wait,” he looked back at Castiel with a look of surprise, “Gabriel’s okay?” A slight quirk of his lips, “good.
“Just, no more tricks. I can’t handle that right now.” He held his hands up with a chuckle as he thought about some of the stuff that Gabriel had done in the past.
He dropped his hands, “you did?” Sam had a look of surprise that quickly turned into one of happiness, “That’s good for you!” He smiled as he reached out to pat Castiel on the shoulder because, well, hugging him would be just weird as hell. “Good. I’m happy,” he nodded then looked away. “Well, I gotta go check on Donna and make sure Ben is fed.” He looked back to him, “you’re going to be okay, right?”
CASTIEL--
Cas simply nodded, understanding Sam's worry, but also understanding there wasn't much to be done for it until Dean worked some of the anger out of his system. “Gabriel is... Well enough. You're safe from tricks. I think he just wants left alone.” He shrugged, not allowing the worry he held for his brother – an echo of that Sam held for Dean, which didn't escape him – to show.
The younger Winchester's happiness was surprisingly contagious, though he really should have known better by now. “Thank you, Sam,” he answered simply. He found he was grateful for Sam's distraction with Ben. And...he, too, still felt some concern for Dean's son. “I'll be fine. Go see Donna, get Ben taken care of. He'll need it.” His lips twitched, thinking of the woman, the smile settling into one that was fond.
“Oh, and...Sam? If you see Claire...tell her I'll call her soon. Please?” With that, he made a sort of shooing motion toward the main cabin. “Call me if you hear from Dean.” He didn't give Sam a chance to make any sort of reply to that. Instead, he simply vanished, leaving behind only the faint sound of feathers beating the air.