Post by Cassiel on Jan 19, 2016 2:35:51 GMT
It actually seemed strange, now, to be back in the bunker. He'd become to used to being on the road, or, even more of late, being in Lebanon or at the academy. The bunker was still home, of course. So long as Sam and Dean occupied it, Castiel supposed it always would be home. It was just that, now, it was a slightly distant feeling of home compared to the feeling of home he had when he was at the academy. Perhaps it could be likened to a house a human grew up in; it was home and always would be, even if it wasn't where he really felt he lived anymore. Well, as much as he ever really lived anywhere in the way humans did.
As had become habit, he sat at one of the tables in the library, both Winchesters sprawled comfortably in their customary seats across from him. The three were nursing beers and merely enjoying each others' company in one of the rare quiet moments in their lives. If anyone had ever thought to ask him, Cas would have admitted readily to enjoying these get-togethers. Especially since he rarely came to the bunker anymore, outside of the visits just to...well, visit. Sometimes, he almost regretted the changes in their lives that had distanced him from the brothers, the humans he'd fallen for so many years ago. Almost, but not quite. There were too many good things he was able to do now, that he never could have if he'd remained nothing more than the boys' companion and hunting partner.
Sam's gentle voice pulled Cas from his musings, and he glanced up to him from the brown glass bottle he'd been staring at absently. “So... How're things at the academy?” He discovered hazel eyes looking at him with concern. A quick glance told him they were joined with green eyes that, while not showing the emotion quite as obviously to most, he could read concern lurking within as well.
Ah, it was going to be another of those talks, he thought to himself with a touch of amusement that never quite showed in his expression as he regarded both brothers. “Things are good, Sam. Donna is...happy,” he said fondly. “But then, I suspect Donna is rarely anything but happy.” Sam laughed openly at this, and even Dean smiled a bit in obvious agreement with Cas' statement. “Jody seems stressed, but I suspect she's content. She feels she's making a difference. And she is. They both are.”
Sam's warm smile, the one that was somehow puppyish while also being soothing – the same smile he turned too often on those who were grieving or distressed during cases – was now turned on Castiel. It was enough for him to guess at what the younger Winchester was going to say before he even spoke. “You are, too. You know that, right?” The angel nodded slowly, wondering what they'd heard or seen to make them break out the impromptu therapy session he suspected was coming. And make no mistake, Sam may have started it out, but Castiel knew that Dean was in on it as well. Even if another glance at the hunter hadn't made it plain to Cas, he just knew how they worked. He should, he'd learned much of being human from this pair long ago.
He let a small grin touch his lips, which, to his satisfaction, caused the brothers to glance at each other. “I know what I'm doing.” He stopped to sip at his beer, enjoying the feeling of drawing the moment out, teasing the pair who'd spent years teasing him in their own ways. “I get to see those who are aided not just for a short time as you do hunting, but on a regular basis. It is,” Cas hesitated, searching for a word to describe the emotion, “fulfilling.” The angel sighed, letting himself grow serious. “Sam. Dean,” he said, looking at each in turn, “I'm doing well. This whole,” he gestured vaguely, “thing is unnecessary.”
“Damn it, Sammy, I told you,” Dean said gruffly, ignoring his brother's classic bitchface. Castiel, however, wasn't fooled for a minute, and actually smirked at the man. Dean just glared back, though there was no real heat to the look. “Someone's learning attitude from the teenagers, I think.”
Cas dropped the smirk that, being honest, still felt awkward and alien, though he did enjoy the results it often produced when he used it on those who knew him and were unused to such things from him. “They do provide interesting opportunities to observe humans quite unlike the two of you, I must admit.”
Sam and Dean traded a look, each of them with a look of relief and satisfaction, almost like mirror images despite their differences. “Okay, we get it, Cas. As long as you're doing okay, man. That's all we want,” Sam said sincerely, speaking, as he often did in matters of the heart, for both brothers. Dean merely nodded his agreement, though the angel could see the faint signs of restlessness that signaled the older Winchester coming to his limit of what he derisively referred to as a 'chick-flick' moment.
He chuckled, a soft sound despite the roughness of his voice. “I'm doing well, Sam. Don't worry. I have a purpose, I'm making a difference in a way that...makes me feel a little like an angel again. But in a way that doesn't force me to give up the things I enjoy about humanity. The...best of both angel and human, I suppose.”
He fell silent then, wiping at the condensation on his bottle with a thumb absently as he thought about the small box in his pocket, and the time he'd spent in the solitude of the woods surrounding the academy as night fell before he'd responded to Dean's call to meet the brothers at the bunker. He felt a desire to discuss both things that were running through his mind, but he was hesitant to do so with the hunters. The medallion he'd made as a gift to Claire they might understand, but it seemed like such a private, intimate thing to him that he wasn't even certain of bringing it up to them. And seeing his own wings, healing and nearly whole again for the first time in years... Well, that was something that had never even really been spoken of with the brothers. They understood he had them, of course, but it had always seemed to be something that they never quite grasped the importance of, or, at least, the importance of them to the angel.
His reluctance to speak of these things despite the desire to share them with someone, well.. It made him begin to understand just how far their worlds were drifting apart, and a jolt of sorrow overwhelmed the angel momentarily. These two men would always be his human-brothers, but...his world here on Earth had widened and changed so much over the past year that things would never quite be the same again.
As had become habit, he sat at one of the tables in the library, both Winchesters sprawled comfortably in their customary seats across from him. The three were nursing beers and merely enjoying each others' company in one of the rare quiet moments in their lives. If anyone had ever thought to ask him, Cas would have admitted readily to enjoying these get-togethers. Especially since he rarely came to the bunker anymore, outside of the visits just to...well, visit. Sometimes, he almost regretted the changes in their lives that had distanced him from the brothers, the humans he'd fallen for so many years ago. Almost, but not quite. There were too many good things he was able to do now, that he never could have if he'd remained nothing more than the boys' companion and hunting partner.
Sam's gentle voice pulled Cas from his musings, and he glanced up to him from the brown glass bottle he'd been staring at absently. “So... How're things at the academy?” He discovered hazel eyes looking at him with concern. A quick glance told him they were joined with green eyes that, while not showing the emotion quite as obviously to most, he could read concern lurking within as well.
Ah, it was going to be another of those talks, he thought to himself with a touch of amusement that never quite showed in his expression as he regarded both brothers. “Things are good, Sam. Donna is...happy,” he said fondly. “But then, I suspect Donna is rarely anything but happy.” Sam laughed openly at this, and even Dean smiled a bit in obvious agreement with Cas' statement. “Jody seems stressed, but I suspect she's content. She feels she's making a difference. And she is. They both are.”
Sam's warm smile, the one that was somehow puppyish while also being soothing – the same smile he turned too often on those who were grieving or distressed during cases – was now turned on Castiel. It was enough for him to guess at what the younger Winchester was going to say before he even spoke. “You are, too. You know that, right?” The angel nodded slowly, wondering what they'd heard or seen to make them break out the impromptu therapy session he suspected was coming. And make no mistake, Sam may have started it out, but Castiel knew that Dean was in on it as well. Even if another glance at the hunter hadn't made it plain to Cas, he just knew how they worked. He should, he'd learned much of being human from this pair long ago.
He let a small grin touch his lips, which, to his satisfaction, caused the brothers to glance at each other. “I know what I'm doing.” He stopped to sip at his beer, enjoying the feeling of drawing the moment out, teasing the pair who'd spent years teasing him in their own ways. “I get to see those who are aided not just for a short time as you do hunting, but on a regular basis. It is,” Cas hesitated, searching for a word to describe the emotion, “fulfilling.” The angel sighed, letting himself grow serious. “Sam. Dean,” he said, looking at each in turn, “I'm doing well. This whole,” he gestured vaguely, “thing is unnecessary.”
“Damn it, Sammy, I told you,” Dean said gruffly, ignoring his brother's classic bitchface. Castiel, however, wasn't fooled for a minute, and actually smirked at the man. Dean just glared back, though there was no real heat to the look. “Someone's learning attitude from the teenagers, I think.”
Cas dropped the smirk that, being honest, still felt awkward and alien, though he did enjoy the results it often produced when he used it on those who knew him and were unused to such things from him. “They do provide interesting opportunities to observe humans quite unlike the two of you, I must admit.”
Sam and Dean traded a look, each of them with a look of relief and satisfaction, almost like mirror images despite their differences. “Okay, we get it, Cas. As long as you're doing okay, man. That's all we want,” Sam said sincerely, speaking, as he often did in matters of the heart, for both brothers. Dean merely nodded his agreement, though the angel could see the faint signs of restlessness that signaled the older Winchester coming to his limit of what he derisively referred to as a 'chick-flick' moment.
He chuckled, a soft sound despite the roughness of his voice. “I'm doing well, Sam. Don't worry. I have a purpose, I'm making a difference in a way that...makes me feel a little like an angel again. But in a way that doesn't force me to give up the things I enjoy about humanity. The...best of both angel and human, I suppose.”
He fell silent then, wiping at the condensation on his bottle with a thumb absently as he thought about the small box in his pocket, and the time he'd spent in the solitude of the woods surrounding the academy as night fell before he'd responded to Dean's call to meet the brothers at the bunker. He felt a desire to discuss both things that were running through his mind, but he was hesitant to do so with the hunters. The medallion he'd made as a gift to Claire they might understand, but it seemed like such a private, intimate thing to him that he wasn't even certain of bringing it up to them. And seeing his own wings, healing and nearly whole again for the first time in years... Well, that was something that had never even really been spoken of with the brothers. They understood he had them, of course, but it had always seemed to be something that they never quite grasped the importance of, or, at least, the importance of them to the angel.
His reluctance to speak of these things despite the desire to share them with someone, well.. It made him begin to understand just how far their worlds were drifting apart, and a jolt of sorrow overwhelmed the angel momentarily. These two men would always be his human-brothers, but...his world here on Earth had widened and changed so much over the past year that things would never quite be the same again.